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deeznutz1969 [userpic]


January 21st, 2012 (07:21 pm)

Well I know its been awhile since I really updated this place.


Life hit me in the face with a 2 by 4  (kinda wish it had been watson but alas it wasn't) Some of you know several years ago I was in a auto accident with a Illegal. the ramifications from it left me in a lot of pain constant really. Lost my Muse due to it, Haven't found it yet either.  Anyway the wreak left me pretty much a wreak my friend who I was driving to Chemo (I think it was Chemo not sure now mind doesn't really remember much) did not make it she went through the windshield died on impact (at least I hope to god she did)  I went face first into my steering wheel airbag did deploy but I went sideways and forward (what I was told) destroyed my left jaw and Teeth was in coma for awhile suffered short term memory issues for a long time, still get bouts of it from time to time. It left me unable to work I mangled my back and left arm along with the left jaw and teeth started fighting for Disability. That I have to say was / is really fucking hard.

So during this fight I had been seeing Doctors about my ongoing issues fighting with the state insurance (Arizona I believe has one of the worst ideas of health care "sorry you need to see we won't cover glasses. Oh your teeth that were destroyed from the accident well tough shit we wont do anything to help you" ) And the Doctor were shocked I was depressed and losing interest in everything shit wouldn't you. Anyway started seeing a pain management Doctor to deal with the back pain about a year and a half ago give or take we were in the middle of fighting with the insurance trying to get PT and manipulation to relieve the pressure in my back ( had 1 bad disk bulge and 1 minor one).

So then about 11 months ago I rolled over in my sleep and BAM OMFG red hot poker to my back I was swear to god almost blacking out from the pain I thought I had pulled something. When I tried to get up I had absolutely no feeling in my left leg from the but to the toes and if I put pressure on the leg some invisible idiot would stab me again. I had to call Doctor she ordered a Stat MRI got to love the state insurance took them a week to OK it STAT you idiots means Emergency. 3 hours after the MRI I get a call at 8pm from the doctors say get to the hospital NOW.

Now mind you no way for me to drive (I drove a Stick) I had to call the insurance they were like UM we need a manager to approve this as we are suppose to transport you to closest hospital  (which is just a ER Hospital ) and I need to go to the hospital with or where the Neurosurgery was (Doctor told me this ) So had to wait till the morning 2 hour fight later and Really you will pay for a cab to this ER and the a Ambulance from there to the other HELLO which is CHEAPER?!?!?!

So Weeee got to Hospital and those 2 disk blew and on blew a rather large chunk of itself in to my main Nerve root. I was told I may lose the use of my leg completely that this should have been dealt with fast I remember looking at the Doctor and going I did blame the insurance (god damn Fuckers) 

Had the Surgery Done they opened up about 8inches of my back removed the Laminia (the part of your back the makes the little bumb on your spine ) on three of my Vertebrates. After which they sent me home unable to walk with nothing but a walker and a 21 year old kid who was bug eyed with the idea he had to be my nurse. A week later I went to doctors got a wheel chair from them to help with recovery time and she requested therapy for the after surgery.

Almost a year later  guess what I got a call from PT .... fuckers mind you its now because I finally got my SSDI Which the court hearing itself was a hoot as I was still barely able to walk with my walker. I remember the Judge asked me why I wasn't seeing a physiotherapy Doctor  and I looked at her and said look at me wouldn't you be depressed if you were in my place and do you really think I am thinking of talking with anyone at the moment when I know WHY I AM DEPRESSED. 

So here I am left lower leg still numb , not the whole leg thank god. I get Migraines now far more often then I use to. I am finally I think getting my act together but I don't think I will ever be able to work a full time job and am trying to figure out what to do with my limitations if I sit to long the leg goes weird and painful can't stand for to long either so it leaves me going WTF do I do.

Anyway I glossed over a lot but I have hopes to get my Muse back even if I have to hunt her down and beat her into submission. I hope all of you are good and I am off to watch Supernatural one of the new episodes ( don't ask me why I keep watching but I keep feeling like blowing my brains out after each show) or maybe I will watch Sherlock NOT THE FALL thou Oh god NOOOOO or maybe fortysomething with Ben and Hugh in it LOL 

Anyway thats that and hope to be updating a bit more often

 PS Sorry about long post and the LJ cut not fucking working damn rich text gah